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This is Totally Normal Quote of the Day, a feature highlighting a statement from the news that exemplifies just how extremely normal everything has become.
“Boris Fucking Epshteyn” —Trump adviser Boris Epshteyn reportedly describing himself in a conversation with Treasury Secretary–designate Scott Bessent
Is all well at Mar-a-Lago? Is it ever? While President-elect Donald Trump has announced most of his major nominations, we’re only beginning to learn about the knife-fighting behind the scenes that went into them. And so far, the familiar patina of hired-goon griminess and comical sleaze is unmistakable.
Over the weekend, the Washington Post reported on the Mar-a-Lago rivalries intensifying as Trump works to staff his administration. (By the way, when we say “Mar-a-Lago,” this ain’t no metonym. These people all seem to be puttering around the grounds of Trump’s mansion-club 24/7, alongside a robot dog.) In one corner, loosely, there are the New Right bombasts, like Donald Trump Jr., Tucker Carlson, and Vice President–elect J.D. Vance. The other, “unofficially helmed” by incoming White House chief of staff Susie Wiles, offers more of a wet-blanket counterweight to the lads who wish to blow everything up.
But then there are other independent fiefdoms. Oligarch Elon Musk, as you have likely read, is officially part of the furniture in the building.
And then there’s Boris Epshteyn.
Epshteyn, a lawyer, fixer, consultant, and whatever-you-will to Trump since his 2016 campaign, briefly served in the White House in 2017, but otherwise has done odd jobs for the campaign and the MAGA movement ever since. He played a significant role in Trump’s 2020 efforts to overturn the election results, one for which he has been indicted in Arizona. He also coordinated much of Trump’s legal strategy over the past several years in Trump’s four separate criminal cases. He is not known to be a very friendly person, and in 2021 he was arrested in Scottsdale, Arizona, after being accused of repeatedly groping two women at a nightclub. That was not the first time he had been charged for his conduct in a Scottsdale bar.
Epshteyn got some attention in recent weeks for his role in urging Trump to nominate Matt Gaetz for attorney general, a case Trump found too compelling to pass up while Wiles was in a separate room. It’s also been reported that Epshteyn and Musk have clashed, having a “big blowup” on the patio of Mar-a-Lago one night, during which Musk accused Epshteyn of leaking personnel information. Epshteyn denied it.
What we’ve learned in the past couple of days, though, is that Epshteyn’s recommendations with the transition team may have—gasp!—involved a bit of financial self-interest. As CNN and other outlets have reported, Trump’s legal team conducted an internal investigation into whether Epshteyn had offered to recommend people for administration positions in exchange for money. Among those Epshteyn was alleged to have shaken down was Scott Bessent, whom Trump recently nominated to be treasury secretary after a ferocious selection process.
In February, Epshteyn told Bessent that for $30,000 a month, he would, in the Washington Post’s words, “promote Bessent around the club.” Bessent refused, and later also refused to invest $10 million Epshteyn was requesting for a three-on-three basketball league. Fast-forward to the days after the election, and we arrive at our Totally Normal Quote of the Day.
After the election, Bessent came to believe that Epshteyn was “knifing” him as he sought to be chosen to serve as Trump’s treasury secretary, according to the report. In a call set up between the two, Epshteyn said he was “Boris F—ing Epshteyn” and that Bessent should have paid for his services sooner, according to the person familiar with the legal findings. He later confronted Bessent in person at Mar-a-Lago in what witnesses believed to be an intimidating way, the legal review found, in an exchange that was viewed by multiple Trump allies.
The legal review was put together by Trump campaign lawyer David Warrington, who’s subject to his own Epshteyn drama. As the Guardian reports, Epshteyn’s “allies dismissed the review as an attempt by Warrington to decapitate Epshteyn after he successfully pushed for Bill McGinley to be the White House counsel, rather than Warrington, who had also been in contention for the role.”
Former Missouri Gov. Eric Greitens—who, as someone who’s had to resign a governorship in disgrace, should’ve been a lock for a Cabinet position under Trump 2.0—also submitted a letter to Warrington’s team alleging that “Mr. Epshteyn’s overall tone and behavior gave me the impression of an implicit expectation to engage in business dealings with him before he would advocate for or suggest my appointment to the President.” Greitens is represented by lawyer Tim Parlatore, who stepped aside from Trump’s legal team in 2023 after clashing with … Boris Fucking Epshteyn.
The election was only three dumb weeks ago!
Epshteyn has denied the allegations of a pay-for-play scheme, telling news outlets that “these fake claims are false and defamatory and will not distract us from making America great again.” And for now, it doesn’t look like Epshteyn’s tariff on potential nominees has him in too much trouble with the boss. Trump has, after all, just gotten off the hook in all of his criminal cases, for which he’s appreciative of Epshteyn’s efforts over the years. Besides: What fun would a disciplined transition be?
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