Group chats are hectic places as a vacation approaches, with the discussions revolving around outfits, excursions, and evening plans. But for one group of friends, their vacation took a turn for the worst when one friend was kicked out of the vacation home by another.
In a Reddit post, u/burnedflan has been backed for leaving an “acquaintance” called Jessica with no place to go at the end of their girls’ trip. The original poster took to the internet to explain what happened when she recently visited her vacation home with a bunch of girlfriends in their twenties.
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Initially, Jessica wasn’t invited on the trip but kept asking the original poster in public until she felt obligated to say “yes.” Jessica was added to the travel group chat and didn’t have a problem with their itinerary, which involved beach clubs and pricey restaurants.
However, when the women were on vacation Jessica changed her tune and began to “complain” about the price of everywhere, saying she felt judged by others.
“We tried to compromise and did a few touristy things with her, but when we started getting ready to go to a beach club yesterday she threw a fit. I reminded her that she knew about all of this before buying tickets and that she wasn’t forced to join us. She could stay home and eat the food my parents kindly stocked for us or walk around the city center,” OP wrote.
This suggestion caused Jessica to become upset with the Redditor, who received lots of messages from friends asking why she was “being so mean to poor Jessica.”
“Apparently she took it to social media and created a narrative that she’s a victim and we’re bullies. I was sick of it, we had a fight where she called me terrible things (I wasn’t a perfect angel either tbf [to be fair]) and it ended with her being kicked out.”
Five days later, the plot thickened and the OP wrote another lengthy piece explaining she felt “bad” about the way she handled the situation. In total, both posts received a combined total of 9,400 upvotes.
She said: “This country and [especially] this specific location is considered safe, but it’s not idiot-proof. Something bad could have happened and I would’ve blamed myself for it.”
She reached out to Jessica and it turns out her insecurities were triggered on the trip.
“She wanted to experience the “glitz and glamour” of the destination. In her head, she would go to the beach clubs with us, [and] guys would offer to buy her drinks and ask her out to dinner so she wouldn’t have to pay for any of it.
“Unfortunately, reality didn’t play out like that and she started to grow resentful whenever one of us would get male attention. The final straw was when I wouldn’t let her borrow a wetsuit from me when we went scuba diving (she wouldn’t fit on any of our extras and I didn’t want them to stretch or break). She said that it triggered her impostor syndrome and body dysmorphia, so she didn’t want to go to hot spots with us as it was affecting her mental health.”
The Redditor explained she understood where she is coming from but disagreed with her “slandering” them on social media. She said it was “unacceptable and unhinged.”
She concludes the post by stating she offered to pay for her hotel as a gesture of goodwill, but Jessica requested $5,000. The post ends by stating she will never “talk to her again.”
How Can You Help a Friend With Insecurities
Newsweek reached out to Gill Hasson, the author of Lonely Less: How to Connect with Others, Make Friends and Feel Less Lonely.
She said: “First you have to be aware of their insecurities. Most of us are reasonably tuned in—aware and sensitive—to other people’s insecurities, anxieties, and fears.
“But when you’re in a group it’s easy for someone’s issues to go unnoticed amongst everything else that’s going on.”
Hasson shared five tips on how to deal with an insecure friend:
- Tell them you’ve noticed things aren’t right and that you’re concerned.
- Ask them to explain what’s bothering them.
- Ask them what it is they do and don’t want to happen.
- Decide to what extent you can or cannot accommodate their needs and tell them
- Be prepared to negotiate and compromise but you must have limits. And stick to them.
What Do the Comments Say?
Hundreds of Redditors have supported the original poster and have voted NTA, which stands for “not the a******.”
One comment has received 2,000 upvotes. It said: “Absolutely NTA and it’s time to tell the real truth to everyone ganging up on you. She created her own problems and tried to blame you. She can just get herself back home.”
“NTA. I am so glad that this is a story where people don’t put up with obnoxious, selfish b*******. Kudos to you. It is always best to trust your gut feeling, but after all, is said and done, I think you handled this like a champ,” wrote another.
The top comment on the updated story received 7,000 upvotes, it said: “WELL, this took a turn at the end. You are clearly way better off without this person. They have shown that they will not take any accountability for their own AH behavior.”
Newsweek reached out to u/burnedflan for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
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