A Gen Z woman has been backed on social media after reminding her estranged mother of the consequences of abandoning her.
The 18-year-old, posting under the handle /u/Forsaken-Year-7175, took to Reddit to discuss an exchange she had with her mother, who had recently come back into her life.
She said in the post that after her parents divorced six years ago, her mother’s new husband didn’t want her to have contact with her ex-husband. So her mother gave full custody to her father and ceased visitation. Now, newly divorced, she has attempted to reconnect.
Newsweek contacted /u/Forsaken-Year-7175 for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of this case.
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While the poster initially agreed to meet with her mother, the situation quickly became strained. During a recent visit, her mother saw her reading An Offer From a Gentleman, a novel by Julia Quinn, and commented that she was “too young to be reading these toxic romance books.”
The poster responded with a reality check: “I was 12 when you disappeared six years ago. I’m 18 now.”
Becky Whetstone, a marriage and family therapist and the author of I (Think) I Want Out: What to Do When One of You Wants to End Your Marriage, believed the mother’s actions showed deeper issues.
“[In divorce], I coach my clients that until children are raised, they come first, before yourself and other relationships. This mother put herself first in a pathological way by ending altogether the relationship with her children,” she said.
With a lack of maternal instincts, it may be difficult to rebuild the foundation after so many years apart. The consequences of this kind of abandonment, Whetstone said, can be severe.
The post has received more than 18,000 upvotes and 800 comments, with many users supporting the poster’s response.
“She dipped for six years, and now she thinks she can just walk back in and start parenting? Nah,” one user wrote.
“I’m guessing Mom (I use the word loosely) doesn’t grasp the idea that actions have consequences. If she doesn’t grow up and take responsibility for her own choices then I have little hope for her relationship with her now adult child,” another said.
Whetstone said the power was with the poster and encouraged her mother to be remorseful, express mortification with her actions and work to make amends.
“Coming in now and trying to assume a parenting role is laughably inappropriate,” she said. “When your daughter is 18 and you are trying to control what she reads, it really does reveal how much you don’t know.”
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